A Bean Bag God

Comfort VS Change

It’s like the ultimate clash of the titans with these two. In my opinion (humble one of course  ), there’s really very little middle ground between these two. Change as we all know is constant and at times comes to us whether we chose it or not. Comfort on the other hand is what we make out of something, a person, a place or a situation.

Imagine how your butt fits perfectly well into the bean bag that you’ve had for years…It’s comfortable cause you’ve made it so...conscious or not. My personal struggle is when to do what. I mean of course change is great and all that…but I mean if life isn’t at all about investing in comfort then why do we attempt to adapt to change in the first place right? I mean the whole point of adapting to change is that at some point whatever overhaul you just went through becomes less of that shoe biting at your heel and more like the one that you’ve got on for years.

So I started digging…Break out the topical bible or in this case…the internet (was at work!). I wanted to put in some verses but I didn’t really get any that I thought matched my train of thought…(sigh…note to self need to better bible study methods!) anyways…I did however do a lot of reading online and through a couple of chapter in Corrinthians too…

I think God is definitely a god of both. I mean I can’t imagine he’d be up in heaven just sitting there going ok time to make him feel uncomfortable.

But I think the finer line is not between comfort and change but between comfort and complacency... (OMG it’s like C words galore…) When comfort turns to a point of complacency then sound the siren, break out the red light we’ve got a problem! When does it go from one to another? My stand is that when change becomes an unacceptable, atrociously wretched bitter idea. (ok maybe not so dramatically…)

It’s like that bean bag I was talking about earlier, when you’re so “comfortable” with it…that’s it is spewing beans but you still refuse to go out and get a new one. It’s just never like the old one, it won’t be same, I can’t believe I have to change it…it’s just not what I want. I get it, it’s not easy and you’re bum’s got a soft spot for that bean bag…and the new one well it hasn’t taken shape yet…but that’s just it…it will!

But if you’re so comfortable in life that change is an unacceptable idea, cause you can still make do then how’d you ever get to experience the new leather super cushiony bean bag?! Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done…

Suddenly I’m beginning to think comfort doesn’t have middle ground with change and all…it’s more of a cyclic thing…where one comes after the other. It’s not a matter of choosing in a moment to reject one or the other but rather embracing both that are equally inevitable.

Knowing that God wants you to have a goo comfortable life, that he wants blessing for you…he doesn’t want you struggling. BUT…when that comfort turns to complacency then He’s got to shake up your bean bag world. But rest assured God’s an awesome bean bag maker *wink* and he’s got the best grade ones out there!

Cheerios!

answers are not essential, trust is

Psalm 31: 4 & 8
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,

for you are my refuge.

Today's reading of every day with Jesus was suprisingly just right for me! I realised that the devil does indeed set traps for you... and you know he knows stuff too...so by golly he's not going to place in front of you cheesecake if you're lactose intolerant and try and tempt you, he's going to use the things you love the things that can make the biggest impacts...the things that you believe is supposed to all good...and he's going to place it that trap exactly when you've got strength in your knees again...cause nothing hurts more than falling from a height...I think a lot of times we don't just take God out of the equation we take the devil out too...i mean i'm not about to start blaming every bad thing on the devil and never take responsibility...but i think we are so unaware and such "realistic" ppl these days...that we've got God down cause well we believe in him we've been thought about him...and we know he's real...but we just use that trump card and never believe how powerful and how much the devil can use the snarly sneaky ways to get to us...

For someone like me, it's easy...easy to blame myself....i was stupid enough, i should have been strong enough, i should have done this and that...while this is true...i think to a certain extent we need to know that to be strong enough and to not be stupid enough....and to not have done this and that...i need God to help me trump the little traps of the devil cause traps are not meant to be seen, i'm not going to see it coming but God can.

So that's how we got to the title..you don't need to have the answers to ur questions...cause even if you do answers don't always answer the question...if you get what i mean...like they don't always satisfy....but trust...that's unquenchable.

8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

Have you ever realised how tiny airplane toilets are...does it just make u feel so insecure...i remember ages ago...when we were thought how to catch slain ppl...hahha yeah they thought us such things :P you stance is meant to be that you have enough space between your legs one in the front and one in the back...so that you have a secure ground to catch whatever's thrown at you...if you keep your legs close together try catching someone and see if you fall with them too...

So people have your feet in a good stance...on a solid rock...so when the devil comes up with some more crapp to throw at you...you're holding the ultimate trump card

finally!

it took a while for me to update...cause for a while there my life was slipping again...and then 2008 happened...i haven't put everything together....

was talking to a friend and she asked what brought me back to god....why make the u-turn

my answer was simple... i'm still u-turning! not made it around the bend fully...who i am to kid i'm still struggling with bits of my life...but why consider god again after i got so bitter?...i got tired....i was worn out and i knew no one else had answers for me....no one else could fix everything make everything better yet it was and still isn't easy....

i have to thank the husband and wife team....for sitting down with me...for more than anything thanks for praying for me and with me...cause i think it was the words that came out in prayer that hit right through to the soul...and somehow something changed i have no idea what or how....but i do know when and it was when i crossed over to 2008...

i choose not to...not to dwell...i chose to go even when i don't feel like it...even when i feel like i'm too scared to make it there alone...and i feel my life being filled again...i see purpose for existing...for a long time i was "happy" i guess...but even thought i knew god had plans for me ya da...ya da...ya da....i felt of no use to anyone...nothing but a space filler really...and i thought that i mattered to one person in particular...and everytime i felt un-needed unappreciated it broke me time and time again...but now i can see what i knew...which is good...i realised that your view only need be clouded by one thing for everything you see to have a tint of grim

about other stuff:

today's everyday with jesus was talking about being there for ppl even the ones that are the "sandpaper people" the ones that just being around them purely tests your patience...i woke up this morning and was pissed of with my bro for being the annoyance that he usually was anyways

GALATIONS 6:1-5
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. - yeah, i've managed this part pretty well...but the one coming up....

4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, - now this is when it gets tough, see i've always pushed myself...always thought i have to keep doing better...and when it doesn't happen i beat myself up for it...but most of the time....it's when i do it in comparison to someone else...of even me...from the past...you know the whole...if she/he can do it...then i must be able to do it...and do it better! i never thought of it as something prideful but i guess maybe it is...i felt/feel i had to live up to perfection or at least die trying...that i had to be able to accomplish something...and if the fear of not making it better.....or doing it to the satisfaction of everyone...it means i would have failed...but i'm learning and time and time again...My own victory's are benchmarked by what i can see....then i give no honour to god....and limit the glory he has...for if i achieve something due to a great god...then my actions through god...that's something that has no measure...

it's like that time where you did really really well on your exam....and it may not have been better than the smartest kid in school....but you put ur heart and soul in it and you prayed day and night and you did exceeding well.... and no one not even you has an explanation on how on earth that happened....i think that's when you know it's bigger than you

cheers folks...

may your clean you view so that things are brighter....and may you live to expectations beyond human limits

cans and recycling

Oh, it’s hard to learn the lesson,
As we pass beneath the rod,
That the sunshine and the shadow
Serve alike the will of God. —Anon

how true is that....it's easy to look at the sunshine and say yeah god i can see how great and awesome you are...

but can you get a whipping and say the same thing??? i bet not! which is really a good thing that god allows time for the whipping to settled down and for the pain to go before we can see the need and use of the whipping :P

i remember having a friend once who told me that he liked learning things the hard way, he said somehow it was only he hard knocks that stayed with him over the years...OUCH!

it's a scary but true thought though...i mean imagine if you were like an aluminum can that went through a bunch of knocks...you'd be recyled in no time at all!

but maybe that's the whole idea...that you keep being recyled...renewed...into something new and better?

i wonder though what happens if you're a pretty good person and you learn fast and quick and you don't need knocks? i mean idealy wouldn't we all want that?

i guess it doesn't mean you don't get renewed...it just means you've been luckily and steady enough that you retain the pristine condition that you were made to be...

but for most of us who'll be knocked around from life....from our own mistakes..don't worry folks...for us...we just need to be recycled and all that we were made to be renewed...and you'll be able to dodge the knocks that come second time around...

and don't forget to tell the other cans eh? if they can dodge it too...we've kept two cans in pristine order!

in a non related manner...
i'm facing a bit of an annoying problem that is a previous issue that's resurfaced...when i thought it was over...so here i was getting seriously upset and annoyed...and just really not understanding why this stupid paper work won't just blow off...

but these are the times i thank god for the lil memory verses that we've been doing at the off...which has stopped...but really shouldn't!....ahem ahem...

"No one who's hope is in you, will ever be put to shame"....psalms 25:3

better is one day in your house

familiar with the verse? bet most christian folk would be after all the song qoutes it...

BETTER IS ONE DAY IN YOUR COURTS THAN THOUSANDS ELSEWHERE....

ok...here's another one of those times where things hit me in a very different yet profound manner...this one was from years ago actually but was just reminded of it....

for all you guilt throdden people....who's wrong doing and self pressure holds you down more than anything think about that verse....it says better is one day than thousands elsewhere...

yes it's a call to come and spend that time with god in his house...and that the one day that u spend there will satisfy you more than the running around for days in headless chicken mode elsewhere...

but this is how it struck me...u know how guilt can hold u back so much...especially if u're like me and it plays up in ur head....no matter how much u know the drill got will forgive you and accept u and he's died for sinners and all that...but somehow...it's because u're so hard on urself...that you get pinned down by this guilt

there's this time lapse or mix up of time between god and us...

so see what i realised is...that the times that you don't fall and u get through well...as i was also told...is reason to rejoice...

cause guess what...god said...that JUST THAT ONE DAY...just that one time that you spent in his place...it's worth soooooo much that a thousands days u spent doing wrong...couldn't take it away...or even compare to it...

so i guess...yeah...every time you fall...look back and know that u're forgiven and remember u're human and that for all the days u didn't fall...god was doing like some woo hoo dance with ya! :)

that don't mean u keep on falling and go oh well yest i didn't...i just means don't stay down...

chin up folks...

he holds everything together

that's a bit from a song.....

i remember when i sang it...it hit home....but not in the way that christs has got my life held together...

more like HE'S HOLDING ME TOGETHER....

see if you don't already know i'm having a crazy time with loads home family personal life the list goes on...and a lot of times i feel myself just breaking...pulled apart....crumbling that i really feel like i might just go mad....and while that seems like quite a joke to lots of yuo....

trust me when u come to a point when u don't know if u're talking to urself or another being...madness becomes very real....

so yeah...it's nice to know even when i'm totally losing it at the brink of insanity...he's holding me together....

btw..can't wait to write bout sunday's sermon and jesus' ridiculous demands...

five loaves and two fishes

ok for those of you who don't know...there's this story in the bible...when jesus walked the earth

it's about when he fed the five thousand.. ok i'm referring to the gospel of john in this cause i loved the way it's written here as compared to all the other gospels...

ok so the story goes...there's this crowd right walking towards jesus and like wanting to hear him speak and followed him so get this...he turns around and asks Philip, one of his disciples "where shall we get food??" hahhaha....and the bible says he already knew exactly how food was going to come about he just wanted to test Philip....HOW CHEEKY??? man so christ was some what a prankster! no wonder when you walk into the fga church office u see pastor's chasing each other around :P well it used to be that way at least....

ok so back to the story...philip's like HELLO!!! mr man of god if you didn't already know even i like i worked my butt off for like 8 months!!! i wouldn't be able to give everyone even a BITE!!! :P (sometimes with what i earn....i think if jesus had turn around and asked me where to get food...i would have answered just the same...cause your life becomes so warped with everything monetarily cause it's what seems to make the world go around )

Then another disciple, Andrew speaks up...and says...well there's this kid he's got like five small barley loaves and two small fishes...but well how far can that really go?? (dang... this ppl like andrew that make ppl like me look ever so stupid!....cause it was like ok...philip went it...you and u're crazy ideas how on earth u gonna pull it off!! and then...andrew went up a tiny notch of faith...and went...well there's like this stuff lah....but it's measely....but there's this stuff!)

and then jesus goes...yeah yeah got it...pull up a chair (or a piece of ground rather) and like chill and sit back food's on its way....as though he had like called pizza hut or mcd's ages ago and was just waiting for them to arrive with the food....so he could go GOTCHA!!!)

and then yeah he gives thanks for the bread and fish...and off it goes...multiplying on its own...i wonder if it was like...you took one bread out the basket and the u thought it was it...and jesus has gone off the wall...and the u get to the next person and the pop! another one appears....or did it like put on bread in the basket and the it miraculously starts popping into more bread just like that before ure very eyes...like u were doing some sort of copy paste at your computer...anyways that's really not the point it's just my imagination getting on a crazy train of thought

ok.... that's the story....what got me thinking was corrine may's song that yappy played for me...

it got me thinking....i mean here's this lil kid...with a LUNCH BOX tau...and like what on earth would cause him to stand up in front of everyone with well what seems ever so measly and say hey you wanna feed five thousand ppl...i've got stuff here!! i mean think about it...i was putting myself and the fear of all those eyes staring me and me stupidly standing up with my lunch box to feed five thousand...would prolly cause me to retreat!!! not stand up...and go hey!

but as i was reading all the gospels of the story i also realised that the boy didn't just stand up and go hey u go....

there's a lot of things i just picked up from trying to figure this snippet of the five loaves and two fishes and this is just some of the stuff i picked up...

it was about SURRENDER...yes yappy u're absolutely right...but get this...there's never an account of the kid that stood up and went hey here have my lunch box....i kind of bet that he was amongst the crowd and the disciples must have been asking around...and like yeah they found only that kid....and i highly doubt andrew would have volunteered food that wasn't his to be given out...so he must have asked...which struck a chord...maybe sometimes surrendering takes nudging....maybe sometimes surrendering...takes that someone to ask...maybe surrendering can only come when you actually realise a need to and that you actually have something you can surrender...

it's also about PRIDE....would you stand up??? be honest with yourself...would take the risk of being utterly humiliated....and stand up and say hey i've got measly food ppl....five thousand of you want some???? sad yo say i think my pride would have kept me glued hard to my seat....unless someone asked...then i can safely say...i would give it up without a thought....but on my own....HELL NO!

it's about HAVING A GLIMMER OF HOPE AND FAITH....see all it took was smarty pants andrew to find a boy and go well we've got measly stuff here...but hey it's something! all it took was that...just that....so i guess even in the bleakest of hours...if you can see it nothing but a pin sized hole of possibility...u've got u're way out already...

it's about god....knowing very well....what he's going to ask of you will scare the living daylight out of you...but he'll do it anyways and u'll get angry irritated and frustrated and come to breaking point and then eventually he'll tell u...ok sit back pull up a piece of ground...(and i'm like to imagine crack his knuckles...and with the cheekiest of grin...and go watch me work!)...u'd prolly go man why couldn't u have just said this to being with! thing is mr pandai pants god's got a plan up his sleeve...and he ain't gonna budge cause mistakes and franticness and all that u're going to go through it's part of his mischievous lil plan to kind of make you go....SO YOU KNEW IT WAS GOING TO GO OK ALL ALONG DIDN'T YA!

it's about knowing that measly, is all god needs...he doesn't need the glam and the great big offerings you can conjour but in saying that if you have big to give why pick the least... yeah he just ask for what u got....if you go back to 1 samuel i think chapter 13...when david speaks to the priest and asks him for bread...and he says...what do u have...what's in ur hand...the five sacred loaves...was what he had...so yeah..just all that's in ur hand...if your hand can't hold all that's going on in ur life for now...don't matter offer what's in ur hand...

ok...now i could go on forever with this...AHA moment of mine...but i think this is good for now....share this with a friend...if you can....not cause i'm p'rsan about what i write and figure but cause everyone needs encouragement even on a great day...telling someone u're gorgeous of u've got amazing potential or just that it's going to be ok...make even a great day turn out to be fabulous to know someone's thinking of u....

ciao then...