and another one from the daily bread..

Look at the ant. He’s weak, but his Creator has taught him to use whatever strength he has to prepare for the future. Consider the locust. He has no king, but when his numbers multiply, God has taught him how to line up and move as one. Look at the spider. He too is a lowly creature, but by using the ability God gives him, he rises to high places.

This brings me back to micheal rowan's meetings....it's so funny how we try and try and we go around in church bouncing off doing everything that we think we need to do...but this happened when i was in perth my pastor asked me a question...that i sort of knew the answer too but never really paid much attention to...i mean i knew it but i didn't know it...

he asked: esther do you know what you love doing?? what brings you joy? and he said that until i figured that out i didn't really figure out my ministry..

thing is i always knew where i found my joy and i knew what i loved....but i figured it was just cause i wasn't in god's ways that's why i couldn't feel it or that it was insignificant...

Do you sometimes feel small and insignificant like an insect? When you do, remember that God showcases His wisdom and greatness through even the smallest things. That’s because His “strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). —Mart De Haa

But here's there interesting bit...the ants aren't going about with their hands clasped in prayer...they just do what they are made to do...and their strength comes from what god has already given them...it's innate...it's just them...and they work with what they got and when u look at it it's just simply amazing! and there being human we try imitate this greatness when really it's just not who you are..

What gives me joy? there are a few things which i believe and KNOW that it's my god given talent...

Writing...and it's a passion i love writing...i love writing encouragement notes! i love writing this...which strangely enough is never something i considered but is something that's got me thinking...the idea of writing devotionals...maybe not now..i don't know maybe now...oh well...i'll do this for now...

Talking...hahhah yeah no seriously...i love talking to people...when i had my apraisal and my editor at work said that she saw something in me that she didn't know what but that it was addictive that i had this strange innate personality that drew things out of people...i mean i always knew as people put it that i was a drama magnet...but it's not just a joke it's true...and it's not something i want to boast about...but i love the fact that god's given me that ability to empathizes and understand and yeah just to be someone people can open up too..it's trying at times...and god's still sharpening my skills...but it's awesome...and you know what...no matter where i was with god...that was always and has been me...like the ant...their strength will always be them...

Singing...there is an amazing joy and calmness when i'm in the presence of god in pure worship...and i've really learnt how i don't need the fancy music or the great singer and musician...and i've learnt that it really is my place of joy...when i'm singing....when i can dance!! yeah no many ppl know that...hahah but i love dancing...and i hate how ppl think you need to only dance a certain way in front of god! pfffttt....david dances in all nakedness man!

all in all...people ask me why i always think of my funeral and well..that's something i'll share with you if i think u'd get it and if you ask...

but this question has been posed to people a zillion times around and i remember being in a cg in perth and it was actually a cg that so wasn't a cg i mean we had muslims, buddhist everyone...but yet the dude shared from the bible...it's one of those times where i really felt the bible and cg was all it was meant to be....

anyways ok...the question was posed and people took forever to think...and i've asked like tons of people and they either come up with a generic answer or they just don't know...

my answer....(to judah's question last sunday too) what do you want to be known for...

that i impacted...that is i want to be said of me...that my life...my words...my writings...my actions...that it impacted others for good lah...but yeah...that's what i want...

what's your answer?